I’m Feeling Lonely
Hey there. It’s been a while since I last wrote something here. This one isn’t an article like I usually wrote, but rather just a bunch of words, that describe what I’m feeling rn. Today has been one of the loneliest day I’ve had in my life. A part of me is feeling nostalgic by the loneliness. Most of the day was filled with loneliness. Her not being here makes too much of a difference.
Maybe it’s not related, but my health dropped as soon as we lost contact. It happens all the time. Not just to me, but also to her. I hate being like this. I hate being sick. And most of all, I hate losing my goal in life.
I’m feeling really lost. I don’t know what to do when someday I’ve reached the point, that she and I always talked about. I’m afraid of being in love again.
Things just doesn’t feel the same anymore. I know I should be able to stand on my own. But I’m used to being pampered by her. Her not being here brought back the old feeling that I’m used too, but somehow not easy to manage rn.
I spent hours sitting alone under a tree, wondering how I’m going to manage myself alone. I know that I’m able to. But I don’t want to. I want her. I don’t like imagining life without her.
Right now I’m sitting above the highway alone feeling empty. I’ve sat here once before with my friends. Only once, but somehow I feel more relaxed here rather being at my apartment.
I hate loneliness. But I gotta keep on living somehow.
I’m going for a swim to cool my mind down tomorrow. Hope I feel better then.
